EMOTIONAL ABUSE FROM PARENTS

Ramin Entry #6

This is quite alarming. I can identify with 9 out of these 10 points (1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10).

Blaming my parents was my primary means of surviving in life. However, with my present awareness and current knowledge of mental wellness and emotional wellness, I don’t blame them anymore. I now feel compassion and sorry for them. I now know that they have their own unrealized baggage of shortcomings and it is not their intention to be any kind of an abuser, emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically or otherwise. Their intention is love, and whatever or however it means to them, that’s the only thing they knew and the way they could give.

As children themselves, they modelled their emotional wellbeing and mental wellbeing from their parents. Their parents as well from their parents, so on and so forth. This chain of abuses will not be broken unless someone in the generation becomes totally self-aware of these issues to be brave enough to spread the awareness in order to break them. Otherwise, repressed emotions/traumas will go unnoticed that will only be transformed into more subconscious abuse. Also, back then with heavy societal stigma for emotional/mental anything, coupled with scarce resources and access, they could neither approach anyone with these issues nor learn from any credible materials. So, they went about life in an autopilot mode, unaware and conforming.

Nevertheless, inevitably I have been a victim. What happened already happened. Sadder to realize that victims become abusers themselves and I know for a fact that I am an abuser myself. The important pivotal point becomes what you do with it now. Do you continue to sulk or do you turn it around and break the chain? I am braving myself to dig deep, face my darkness, admit my wrongdoings, and heal from them. This empowers me and becomes part of my narrative of spreading awareness for mental wellness and emotional wellness.

The healing process from an abuse will not be short and it will be painful, especially if it has become flesh and blood and embedded in your soul. Be as it may, you will heal and be restored by a process of awareness, courage, bravery, forgiveness, humility, compassion, empathy, love, and most importantly faith and trust in God.

Awareness is key, for it is one of the most powerful and grounding tools we can equip ourselves with. It helps us be more self-aware as we develop more humility, compassion, empathy, and love for ourselves and others. Please be kind to yourself and others. God bless