GENDER DYSPHORIA. A TALE OF WONDER LOST

Ramin Entry #33

A lonely speck of dust. Lost in vast desert. Scorched. Parched.

Desolate in the midst of oceans of earth.

Conflicted. Vexed. Exasperated. Vulnerable. Constricted. Tensed. Apprehensive. Precarious.

The horizon. An optical illusion of a mere stone’s throw away, yet infinitely beyond reach.

A long arduous and treacherous journey. A place once visited. A place once blessed to have called home. The paradise.

The quintessential dream place of a dwelling. The nirvana.

A dwelling that holds the secret of life. A dwelling of solitude and rest. A dwelling of laughter and joy. A dwelling of freedom and fearlessness. A dwelling of confidence and assurance. A dwelling of conviction and determination. A dwelling of meaning and purpose. A dwelling of truth and authenticity. A dwelling of kindness and compassion. A dwelling of peace and love.

Thrown back into emptiness.

Haunted by ghosts of the past.

Freedom lost.

Loneliness once again.

How did I enter this backspace? A mystery devoid of a clue.

A journey of nothingness to triumph over myself. All over again.

Another chapter begins.

This journal chronicles my trauma-healing process and progress. If you’re interested to read in sequence in its entirety, you may jump directly from the beginning >here