WHAT BE OF MY LIFE?

Ramin Entry #45

22-24 September 2023

What be of my life…
without a higher purpose?
without meaning to speak of?
without kindness to partake?
without compassion to embrace?
without love to share?

A humdrum automation towards desires
Aimless in search of nothingness
Superficial solutions to fill the hollowness
Emptiness that could never be contented
Ego that can never be fulfilled
Chains that can never be unshackled
Prisons doors that can never be opened
Peacefulness that can never be found
Real joy that can never be felt
Self-actualization that can never be achieved

A life without meaning is unbefitting true life
Where though would we find meaning?
Elusively hidden in plain sight
Had we the courage to open our eyes and mind
Towards the very thing we had been born with
To be in touch again with our soul
The spirit we had been born from
The core of our whole being
Purity and authenticity in abundance
Where kindness, compassion, and love
Intrinsically dwell

The spirit that has been broken
Shattered into pieces through this cruel life
To make denials of its existence
The very existence that recognizes meanings
Denials that snatch away faith
Of the very spirituality our soul is connected to
The source of kindness, compassion, and love

Why do we carry on this suffering?
Why do we surrender to unconsciousness?
Imprisoning ourselves in our construal
Perceptions we so dearly hang on to
That reject and know no truth
Nor able to see things as they are
Despite the immeasurable collateral damage
When facts and emotions convolutedly welded
Unresolved emotions and wounds
Inherited through the bloodline
While afflicting through unwitting society
As transgenerational traumas

Who are we protecting?
Who are we sacrificing in the process?
Needing control that we so fervently guard
As a means of gaining the world’s oysters
Vacuuming our way through life
Sucking all that we can
Seeking external power
In search of self-love
To feel good about ourselves
To gain recognition and praises
To gain acknowledgment
To gain validation
To gain self-worth

When are we going to open our eyes?
To be able to see and feel the beauty within
To be connected back to our soul
To accept ourselves for who we truly are
To validate our vulnerability as a strength
To feel all of our emotions and gifts
To call ourselves a whole human being
To discover that self-love has always been within
To realize that power has always been within
Had we the bravery and honesty to open the door
That would activate self-empowerment

This journal chronicles my trauma-healing process and progress. If you’re interested to read in sequence in its entirety, you may jump directly from >here